I have found it remarkable that in all of our years of having orgasms, discovering g-spots, and debating the nature of squirting, that there is still any question of how hard sex workers work. There is still the dismissal of sex work even being work. It is the oldest profession in the world and one of the only that is immune to being replaced by technology. The connection, the care, the consideration,the consistency…the comfort. Sex work is some of the hardest there is and often a place where people can consistently have their needs met. Enjoyed porn this year? That is sex work. Subscribed to Only Fans? That is sex work. Some strippers even proudly classify their performance as sex work. Why does it matter? I am glad you asked!
As long as we dismiss that sex work is work, we tacitly pass off our responsibility to uphold its dignity. We don’t affirm what we do not respect and sex work deserves affirmation. It also deserves safety, fair compensation, and consent, which is notably harder when it is pushed to the margins of a prude society. It deserves to be referenced in the daylight. It deserves fair opportunity for home ownership and credit building. It deserves adequate mental health support. Why it matters is in the details. As long as society continues to participate in sex work as a place to take, take, take it will remain underappreciated and disrespected. Let us take the lead, as Black women leave no one behind. When we can admit how symbiotic it is, we will finally have space for those who do sex work to speak for themselves about what they need. What policies do we need in place? What laws do we want passed? What legislation needs to progress? What type of medical access needs fixing? What type of financial support is needed?
Often, there is a moral high ground that people stand on to express their concerns for the safety of workers and the morality of those that engage. We know from internet reports that people view pornography at high rates, in every US state, including the Bible Belt. We also know that sex workers engage at different levels based on different reasons, some of which do notably have safety concerns. But the problem with stigma is that it keeps the affected person quiet. The people yielding the power always get the microphone when stigma is in the room. With stigma, shame is always close behind.
How can we love our sex workers better?
What could it be like if they could freely speak for themselves and answer without being silenced?
Nothing for them, without them. And for everyone who participates, we must affirm the dignity and the dedication of their work. We must appreciate the needs they meet in our lives. We must proudly proclaim what we show through our engagement– that sex work is work! Support a worker today, if you were not going to already! And if you already were, stay freaky and enjoy!
To learn more about the movement, please visit the Human Rights Campaign.
https://www.hrc.org/resources/beyond-the-stereotypes-a-deep-dive-into-sex-work
Crystal Saiyge is a Black woman, sex-positive interfaith minister, wife, and mom of four. Her
virtual chapel, #Churchofthebando is a liberated space for global spirituality, thoughtful inspiration,
grief counseling, sex-positive education and trap karaoke. Visit crystalsaiyge.com for more info.
